Recipe | nettle soda bread

Now’s the time to gather treasures from the hedgerows. And then head home and into the kitchen to make this nettle soda bread.

Nettle Soda Bread

Good handful of young nettle leaves and/or wild garlic
½ pint buttermilk
6oz self raising flour (wholemeal or brown)
3oz plain flour
3oz seed & grain bread flour
½ tsp salt
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda

Gather your nettle tips (with gloves on) before they flower. Strip off the stems until you have enough for one large handful of leaves.

Heat oven to 200C/Fan 180/400F

In a blender or large jug, add leaves and buttermilk. Blend until smooth.

Put flour, salt and soda into a mixing bowl. Form a well in the middle and pour in the nettle buttermilk. Quickly mix together with a fork until a soft dough is formed.

Turn out mixture onto a floured surface, lightly need for 2 minutes then form into a round shape.

Put on a floured baking tray. Flatten the top of the dough and score the top in a cross.

Cook for 30 minutes until the dough sounds hollow. Leave to cool on a wire rack.

N.B. You can substitute nettles for ramsons or crow garlic. For a seed top, before baking rub a little buttermilk over the top and add some sedge seeds (found in autumn) or sunflower seeds also work nicely.

 In this month’s Blossom issue, we have a beautiful feature we think you’ll love by Lia Leendertz, in which she looks at cooking and enjoying some of the season’s bounty. Nature’s Table is the first in a new series. Do tell us what you think! This soda bread recipe with photography by Kirstie Young, was first published in our March 2016 issue but it tastes just as good (if not better) four years on.

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From our March issue…

More foraging fun…

Domestic life hacks from Jane Eyre

Photography by Megan Westley

There’s plenty of strong advice we can take from Jane, one of our favourite fictional heroines, about the nature of love, finding inner resilience and more. But if you’ve no time for big changes here are a few simple things you can do to bring a bit more Jane into your life. With apologies to Charlotte Bronte.

• Take up bird watching. It’s a relaxing diversion in times of crisis, particularly if your cruel cousins are being unkind. Losing yourself in Bewick’s History of British Birds is the best response and come Great Garden Birdwatch time in January, you’ll be pleased you spent the time so usefully.

• Should you find yourself living at a charity school for girls, and your pitcher for washing your face is frozen solid in the morning, sprinkle a little rock salt on the surface to thaw it.

• In times of distress, tea and seed cake is almost always a salve for the soul.

• A sprained ankle, after a fall from a horse, perhaps, can be easily treated at home. NHS Direct prescribes rest, ice, compression and elevation. If the injured party can’t put weight on the ankle, offer assistance in walking home. Reader, I carried him.

• You can remove the smell of damp dog from a rug by sprinkling the area liberally with baking soda and then Hoovering up the following day. Down, Pilot!

• Noisy upstairs neighbours are a trial. Remember you can’t necessarily change their behaviour but you can change yours. Try to distract yourself and relax as much as possible before bedtime (perhaps with a cup of tea and some seed cake) to give yourself the best chance of dropping off, despite the din upstairs.

• Candles can bring a relaxing atmosphere but if you’re going to have them in the bedroom make sure you don’t have long drapes around the bed. A simple divan looks cleaner and is less of a fire hazard.

• If your house is larger than you need and expensive to heat, you can always consider closing off entire floors. Better still, think about downsizing to somewhere a little easier to maintain. 

• Never trust a fortune-teller arriving at your door unannounced during a party.

• If you’re rather plain, don’t waste time and money on rouge and pearls, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, but you’re sure to have other talents to commend you to others. Perhaps potential suitors would like to hear your talk about British birds? 

Fans of Jane Eyre shouldn’t miss our What I Treasure page in the March issue, in which Megan Westley tells us about her most treasured possession, the beautiful copy of Jane Eyre, pictured above.

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More from our March issue…

More literary things for bookworms…

Books for book lovers

Some suggestions on reading and where to read for bookish people

How much would you love a reading nook? Today is World Book Day and in our March issue, we’re celebrating this most overlooked of areas in the home, in the first of a new series we’ve called ‘My Place’. The series is all about those special little corners of our homes that mean the most to us but are often overlooked, from the bedside table to the view from the kitchen sink. 

We found so many beautiful pictures of people’s reading nooks it was hard to choose which to feature but we loved this one above from Siobhan Graham (@thehalcyondaysofsummer). You can find the rest of the book nooks on p62 of our March ‘Blossom’ issue. There are lots of ideas for places and ways to create your own. Every home has room for one somewhere.

And once you’ve made a landgrab for space for your book nook and installed a comfy chair or large cushion and a lovely lamp, you’ll need a few books to read in it. We’ve picked five books for book lovers to get you started.

1. The Eyre Affair, Jasper Fforde

Literary Detective, Thursday Next, pits her wits against the evil Acheron Hades, who has stolen a first edition of Martin Chuzzlewit and killed a minor character, removing him from every printed edition, and now has his dastardly sights on Jane Eyre. One for lovers of classic fiction, fun… and dodos. 

2.The End of Your Life Book Club, Will Schwalbe

The moving tale of how a man and his dying mother find a new common interest as her life draws to a close, choosing books to read and discuss together as they wait in hospital for her treatments. 

3. The Shadow of the Wind, Carlos Ruiz Zafon

In mourning for his mother, Daniel, the son of an antiquarian book dealer, seeks solace in a novel by Julian Carax, The Shadow of the Wind. But when he tries to find other works by Carax he discovers that every book by him has been systematically destroyed and he may have in his hands the last remaining copy of the novel. If mystery and intrigue set in post-war Barcelona sounds up your literary alley, you’ll enjoy this. 

4.The Year of Reading Dangerously, Andy Miller

If you’ve ever been embarrassed to admit you haven’t read a classic novel (or embarrassed to have fibbed about having read it) this will strike a chord with you. It’s a real account of the books Miller read in a year in which he decided to branch out and read all those books he felt he should have read. Witty, warm and with lots of reading inspiration for the rest of us. 

5.Parnassus on Wheels, Christopher Morley

Published in 1917, you’ll read this short but totally delightful book in an afternoon, as you follow the adventures of spinster Helen McGill, who buys a bookshop on wheels (drawn by a horse called Pegasus) from a book-loving stranger and sets off with him around New England. If you enjoy it, there’s also a sequel - The Haunted Bookshop.

And if you have a special place in your home, we’d love you to share a picture of it with us. We’re looking for bathroom mirrors, kitchen sinks, bedside cabinets and more. Tag your photos #TSTmyplace on Instagram and you may even see your special place in your home featured in a future issue.

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More blogs for book lovers…

More from our March issue…

How to | make daffs look posh

Simple ways to get the best from a bunch of spring trumpets, in time for St David’s Day

Photography: Kirstie Young

There’s little cheerier than a bunch of daffs. We’ve celebrated them (and a few tasty spring recipes, too) in our feature ‘Nature’s Table’ by Lia Leendertz in our March issue. Picking a few daffodils in the garden to bring indoors or even spontaneously throwing a couple of bunches in your shopping basket are one of spring’s greatest joys. Here’s how to make the most of them.

1. Learn from the Dutch and never mix daffodils with another type of flower. They’re thought to secrete a sap that kills other flowers off. You can get round this by placing them in a vase of water for half an hour or so by themselves first and then not retrimming the stems when you pop them in with other flowers. But frankly, who has time for this? And why not let them stand alone in all their daffodilly glory?

2. Despite their strong structural look, daffs have something a bit wild about them, so giving them a laid-back vessel to hang out in always suits them. A nice squat jug or a big teapot always looks jolly. Trim the stems down so they don’t sit too tall in the jug.

3. Change their water ever couple of days and keep it topped up. Daffs like a good drink.

4. If you’re using a taller, more traditional vase, you can give the flowers a ‘tidier’ look by tying them with twine and letting them bunch up together on one side, rather than spend the coming week trying to keep them evenly spaced around all sides of the vase. If the empty space on the other side of the vase bothers you, pop a couple of large, ornamental pebbles in with the tied posy.

5. If the whole ‘arranging’ bit is too stressful, break them up. A row of jam jars, each with a single daffodil in has a rustic look that suggests you just flung them there by accident (rather than spent all morning finding enough empty jam jars at the back of the cupboard). It looks very effective, at any rate. 

Alternatively, fling them artfully on a nature table or snuggle them next to some fig and walnut scones (recipe in our March issue), as pictured above. Spring has definitely sprung.

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More from our March issue…

More floral fun…

Leap day thought : try something for the first time

It’s leap year day today. How are you making the most of your ‘extra’ day in the year? Perhaps you’re just taking some time to yourself, to rest, read or enjoy making or doing your favourite thing. But with February 29th landing on a Saturday this year, we’re hoping to use the opportunity to try something for the first time, unencumbered by the daily routine.

A new thing can be as big or as small as you like, from a paddle-boarding lesson or an impromptu trip to a place you’ve never been to making a recipe you’ve never eaten before or picking up a book by an author you’ve not yet read.

If you’re also promising yourself to try something for the first time today, let us know how it went here. Happy extra day!

We first published this chalkboard in January 2016 but we thought it deserved another outing!

From our February issue…

More wisdom from our back page…

How to | make a kite

We’re all about the gusty adventures this month. Let’s go fly a kite!

We hope you like the kite illustration on our Blossom front cover for March. Inside the issue Jo Mattock has written a piece to inspire you to take your kite on an outing. If you don’t have time to dig yours out of the shed, here’s how to make one in moments.

You will need

• 2 straight sticks or pieces of cane (raid last year’s runner beans patch), one around 50cm and one around 60cm but you can make them bigger or smaller as you wish

• String

• Washi tape (you knew you’d find a practical use for it one day, didn’t you?)

• A piece of light fabric or strong paper to fit your kite frame (a bin liner will do in a kite-building emergency)

• Suitable glue

• Masking tape

• A long piece of fabric for your kite tail, plus fabric remnants
  
  
  

How to make your kite

1. Arrange your two sticks in a T-shape, with the shorter stick crossing the longer stick about a third of the way down. 

2. Wind string around and around at the point where the sticks join and tie it securely. Cover over the join with washi tape until you are certain the structure is secure. You can use a blob of superglue if you prefer, to anchor the string.

3. Use a pair of scissors to saw a small notch at either end of both sticks (4 notches), each about 3cm from the end. 

4. Tie a piece of string around the edge of your shape, forming a diamond, using the notches to secure the string with a knot at each corner.

5. Place your diamond shape on top of your fabric, paper or bin liner and draw around the outside of the shape, approx 5cm bigger all the way round, then cut out your shape.

6. Place the diamond frame back on your fabric. Squirt a line of glue all the way around the edge of the fabric diamond and then fold the edges over the string frame to stick down.

7. Use masking tape to secure the fabric to the frame all around the edge and across the stick frame.

8. Cut a length of string a bit longer than your spar (the shorter stick). We used 65cm of string for the 50cm cane. Tie to each end of the smaller stick so the string has plenty of slack.

9. For your flying line, tie a long piece of string to the middle of the slack string. Make it as long as you dare.

10. Create a tail for your kite with a long piece of string from the bottom and decorate it with pieces of fabric tied on. Decorate the front and back of the kite as you wish. 

11. Go fly a kite and send it soaring!

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More outdoor adventures…

More from our March issue…

February | a final thought

We’re waving off our February issue today. We' hope you’ve enjoyed it. Here’s a little illustration from our back cover that we hope makes you smile, courtesy of Michelle Rial from ‘Am I Overthinking This (Chronicle Books).

Our March issue is in shops any moment now. We’ll see you on the other side!

5 times fictional socks stole the show

Photography from Darning: Repair, Make, Mend by Hikaru Noguchi (Quickthorn)

Famous socks we have known and loved

Ever since we were inspired by the feature on darning in our February issue, we’ve been valuing our socks just a little bit more. We’ve also been remembering the times when socks were the real stars of the show in some of our favourite books and plays. 

Fox in Socks’s socks (From Fox in Socks, Dr Seuss)

Fox in Socks and his sidekick Mr Knox tongue-twist their way around a box, a pair of socks, and lots more things that rhyme. No, we don’t know what it was all about either. 

Harry’s sock (given to Dobby in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, JK Rowling)

House elves are given their freedom if their master hands them clothes. Cunning Harry hides one of his socks in Tom Riddle’s diary, which he gives to baddie, Lucius Malfoy, knowing that Malfoy will fling the book at his house elf, Dobby, freeing him from Malfoy’s clutches.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Agatha Christie

In this Poirot mystery, a sock takes an unexpectedly central role in a brutal murder. We won’t spoil it for you. 

Malvolio’s stockings, Twelfth Night, Shakespeare

Puritanical Malvolio is set up with a fake letter, purporting to be from the object of his desire, Olivia, begging him to wear yellow stockings and his legs ‘cross-gartered’, and his silly socks are his comeuppance.

William Brown’s socks, the Just William stories, Richmal Crompton

William Brown’s wartime socks were more usually more darning than knitted wool, famously inching down his legs beneath muddy knees at every opportunity; they took on a character all of their own. 

We were always mesmerised at the amount of darning William Brown’s mother had to do and slightly jealous we didn’t know how to darn properly ourselves. So we’ve put that right with a feature in our February Thrive issue. Turn to p110 where you can learn the only two stitches you need to know to darn absolutely anything! With photographs and instructions from Darning: Repair, Make, Mend by Hikaru Noguhi and photographs by Wakana Baba and Noriaki Moritani (Quickthorn).

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More from our February issue…

More simple skills to learn…

Competition | Win flowers for a year

Enter our competition with The Secret Gardening Club to win plants worth £400

Spring is a wonderful time to get out into the garden, with seasonal bulbs and blossom bringing plenty of inspiration. Here at The Secret Gardening Club, we’re a little biased, but the fresh air, light exercise and sense of achievement that comes with digging and planting is hard to argue with. The Secret Gardening Club is a great place to start, whether you’re green to gardening or a regular Monty Don.

JOIN THE CLUB

The Secret Gardening Club gives you a round-up of offers every week by email, giving you access to high-quality plants for less. Pick the saving that catches your eye, order your plants and they’ll be delivered to your door. The brainchild of a North Yorkshire-based lavender grower, The Secret Gardening Club came about when the family-run company started discounting their oversupply of plants. Realising that they were onto something, they joined forces with plant nurseries throughout the country to offer promotions on all kinds of species. Today, The Secret Gardening Club now has more than 90,000 members.

TREAT YOUR GARDEN

First, you need a plan: what is it you want to get out of your outdoor space? Perhaps this is the year to create a bee-friendly haven, to go for a complete overhaul with new shrubs, or simply to refresh the beds already in place. The Secret Gardening Club’s wide range of plants will be just the ticket. Its website can help you identify the plants that you need, with an excellent choice of varieties and quality plants guaranteed. For one lucky reader of The Simple Things, the task is made even simpler as there’s a wonderful prize up for grabs. The Secret Gardening Club is giving away a year’s supply of plants, worth £400. To find out more about The Secret Gardening Club, visit secretgardeningclub.co.uk

HOW TO ENTER

The Secret Gardening Club is offering one lucky reader £400 to spend at its website, spaced across the year, ensuring a steady supply of stunning plants. For your chance to win, enter below and answer the following question: How many members does The Secret Gardening Club have?

Terms & conditions: Competition closes at 11.59pm on 8 April 2020. A winner will be selected at random from all correct entries received and notified soon after. The winner cannot transfer the prize or swap it for cash. Details of our full terms are on page 127 of the magazine and online at icebergpress.co.uk/comprules

More from our March issue…

Playlist | a playlist about playlists

Listen here

We hope you enjoy our mixtape. Scroll down to enter our mixtape competition

Make ours a mix tape! Each song on March’s playlist has a story for a member of The Simple Things team. They all featured on much loved mix tapes, but which tunes soundtracked crushes, and which got us through our paper round? Read on…

‘Raspberry Beret’ by Prince

“A boy at school made me ten different Prince mix tapes – I only mentioned in passing that I liked one Prince song and thought it was weird he made me so many. I naively didn't think anything more of it…” Karen Dunn, Commissioning Editor

‘(You’re The) Devil in Disguise’ and ‘Suspicious Minds’ by Elvis Presley

“I've had one mix tape and that was from my partner, Udo, when we first got together. I was really touched until I got to songs four and five: ‘(You’re The) Devil in Disguise’ and ‘Suspicious Minds’…!” Joe McIntyre, Art Editor

‘Mr Wendel’ by Arrested Development

“This was on a mix tape that I used to play while doing my paper round when I was about 12 – I knew that when it came on I was almost done.” Karen Dunn, Commissioning Editor

‘Golden Hen’ by Tenor Saw

“When I was 16, my then boyfriend made me a dub/reggae mix tape. I loved this one song in particular and would often sing the lyrics when it played. My boyfriend never wrote down the titles of the songs, so I was mortified to find out – a couple of years later – that the song’s chorus line (and title name) was ‘My Golden Hen’ not ‘My Bowling Name’, as I’d sung it! Might explain why the guy didn’t last as my boyfriend.” Anneliese Klos, Art Editor

‘Accidently Kelly Street’ by Frente!

“My best friend in fifth form, Sally, put this on a mix tape for me when we were 15. It’s cheerful and sunshine-y and was one of only approximately three songs that they ever played in Harold’s café in Neighbours, which we thought was hilarious. Sally still makes me a mix tape nearly every year at Christmas, though she moved to CD a while ago. I’m a cultural vacuum, so I always look forward to musical education. And Frente! still always makes me smile.” Iona Bower, Editor-at-Large

 ‘Hey! Get Out of My Way’ by The Cardigans

“I put this on a mix tape I made myself to celebrate summer. It was about the time I was old enough to actually enjoy a bit of freedom, but not old enough to actually have any responsibility. Every time I hear it, it takes me back to blue skies and suburban parks and the feeling of possibilities.” Frances Ambler, Deputy Editor

‘Kooks’ by David Bowie and ‘Father and Daughter’ by Paul Simon

“My best friend made a lovely mix tape for me when I had my first daughter. The songs included ‘Up All Night’ by Razorlight, and these two choices.” Liz Boyd, Picture Researcher

‘Short People’ by Randy Newman

“An old colleague gave this to me, just before I started a new job. I’m quite short and when I listen to the lyrics, I’m never quite sure if he meant it affectionately or…” Frances Ambler, Deputy Editor

‘XO’ by John Mayer and ‘Hold Me Now’ by Johnny Logan

“As a kid, I was obsessed with the Irish Eurovision entry 'Hold Me Now' by Johnny Logan. I remember holding my tape player close to the TV and recording it off of TOTP several times (in the days before the repeat function), so that I could hear it again and again. I remember the recording also caught my sister walking into the room shouting, ‘Not again!’ on it. Nowadays, I have a much more ordinary playlist, but my eldest has started downloading some of my songs onto her playlists – our current favourite is this song by John Mayer.” Abbie Miller, Sub Editor

‘The Whole of the Moon’ by The Waterboys and ‘It’s the End of the World As We Know It’ by R.E.M.

“Many moons ago, my husband (then boyfriend) used to make me mix tapes. One of the songs that I discovered through them was ‘The Whole of the Moon’ by The Waterboys. Some 30 years later, I can still hear in my head the starting chords to the song that followed it… ‘It’s the End of the World As We Know It’, by R.E.M.” Louise Gorrod, Wishlist Editor

‘Romantic Type ‘by The Pigeon Detectives and ‘Just a Song About Ping Pong’ by Operator Please

“My mum’s friend owns an antique shop ­– and has a son. My mum and her friend got talking about how we both liked gigs. We communicated with each other for about a year, solely through mix tapes, passed to each other through our parents. These are both from tapes that he gave me.” Olivia O’Connor, Subscription Manager

‘The Real Thing’ by Tony Di Bart

“When I was about 12, I got one of those CD and tape players that let me record onto tapes – so the first time I could record from the radio. At the time, this was number one, and I kept trying to record it – with the deft art of stopping before the DJ starts talking. I think there were a few belters on that first tape, such as ‘Swap Thing’ by The Grid and ‘Mr Vain’ by Culture Beat. If ‘The Real Thing’ gets played (which is rare) it takes me straight back to that time and place. 

Rob Biddiss, Commercial Director

Competition! Now you make us a mixtape!

We want you to make us a mix tape! It can be themed, or perhaps biographical, or simply introduce us to some great music – it’s up to you. Just put together around an hour’s worth of music on Spotify, send us the link or the track listing, along with a couple of sentences on the story behind your playlist to thesimplethings@icebergpress.co.uk. We’ll need it by 23 March. And we’ll feature our favourite in a future magazine. 

More of our playlists…

More from our March issue…

Good stops just off the motorway

Because there’s always treasure where you least expect it…

If you’re planning a bank holiday getaway or a longer UK staycation this summer, you probably haven’t yet given your route there much thought. Travelling long-distance by car is simple but tedious and most of us just hit the motorway crossing our fingers it’s not at too much of a standstill. 

And when it comes to comfort breaks and lunch stops, well, a curly sandwich at a sterile table (if you’re lucky) on the side of the road is often as good as it gets. 

But with a little planning and research, you might just find there are some real gems only a stones throw from the motorway junctions.

There are places like Tebay services - the first family run motorway service station, which was set up by Cumbrian Hill farmers John and Barbara Dunning when the M6 was built through their land. With farm shops, a butchery and cafe serving only local food, it’s as far from a normal service station as you can imagine and has become a destination in its own right. Then there are the plethora of National Trust properties just minutes away from motorway junctions where you can immerse yourself in history, stretch your legs and have a proper scone and a decent cup of tea - and all without a Burger King in sight. But beyond that, every stretch of Britain’s major roads have near them somewhere a lovely lake, a peaceful copse with picnic benches or a great view from a hill. You just need to know someone in the know.

So we’ve had another of our brilliant ideas. We’d like Simple Things readers to pool their knowledge on all those wonderful, secret places just off the motorway and we’ll collate them and make them into a booklet for a future issue. We’re hoping it will be a little gem you’ll keep in your glove box with the boiled sweets and road atlas so that next time you find yourself contemplating a curly sandwich and a raft of fruit machines you can take a different turn off and make a real moment of your comfort and lunch break. 

Leave your votes for your ‘spot just off the motorway’ in the comments on our blog or on our posts on Facebook and Instagram and we’ll do the rest. 

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From our February issue…

More places to go and things to see on the way…

Love advice from romantic icons

If you have designs on someone this Valentine’s Day, you could do worse than listen to the advice of Liz and Em; a couple of women who should know

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, in our February issue we’ve pictured cards from the deck Love Oracles: Sex and Romance Inspiration from the Good, the Bad and the Beautiful by Anna Higgie (available from Laurence King). You can read more wisdom on love from everyone from George Michael to Joan Collins on p45 of the ‘Thrive’ issue. Here are a couple just to whet your appetite…

Elizabeth Taylor on love…

On flings and things: “Don’t run so fast that you can’t be caught.”
On relationships: “You can be a big fan of marriage - just be an even bigger fan of diamonds.”
On friends and family: “True friends last longer than marriage, however many times you marry.”

Emily Bronte on love…

Emily Bronte on flings and things: “If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you I would be your slave.”
On heartbreak: “Hearts can be broken but souls should be shared.”
On friends and family: “Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly tree… But which will bloom most constantly?”

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More from our February issue…

More Valentine’s Day inspiration…

Recipe | Banoffee pie

This sweet and sticky pud is a welcome end to any meal. Find the rest of this fair trade menu in our February issue

Serves 4-6

300g chocolate Hobnobs
160g butter, melted
397g tin Carnation caramel
2 large ripe bananas (Fairtrade), finely sliced
300ml double cream, whipped
70% cocoa dark chocolate shavings (Sainsbury’s Santo Domingo Organic Fairtrade chocolate)

1 Add the Hobnobs and butter to a food processor and pulse until you have fine breadcrumbs. Tip into a fluted loose-bottomed tin and press the mixture in firmly and evenly.
2 Chill in the fridge for 1 hr, then top with the caramel and a layer of bananas. Return to the fridge and, when ready to serve, pipe or spoon on the cream and serve sprinkled with the chocolate shavings.

This recipe is the pudding from our ‘gathering’ menu, Fare Trade, in our February issue, a dinner menu for friends that makes the most of fair-trade products. Fair-trade Fortnight begins on 24 February. Hurrah for good food that’s good for everyone!

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More from our February issue…

More puddings for friends…

How a bookmark can save your (literary) life

Don’t panic. Whatever your problem, we’ve a bookmark that can help

We’ve made these lovely (if we do say so ourselves) bookmarks for you to cut out and use, as a little gift to you in the February issue. Each one has its own purpose, with a wallpaper pattern on the front and space on the back for you to write something, from notes for your book club meeting to recommendations for a friend. We’re confident they are not only beautiful, but so useful, one might just save your life some day. So we borrowed a few potentially deadly literary scenarios and have imagined ways in which one of these bookmarks might get you out of the bind. With apologies to Britain’s Literary Canon.

1. Marooned on Treasure Island. Write a note on your bookmark calling for help, pop it one of Flint's empty bottles of rum and throw it into the sea. 

2. Crocodile attack in the jungle. Pop your bookmark swiftly into the gaping jaws of the beast in place of a stick. Make your escape into the heart of darkness while the croc wonders what a bookmark is, and you head off in search of Kurtz.

3. Stuck on an island with a group of strangers and you start to suspect a murderer is amongst you. Use the back of your bookmark to make a list of all the potential suspects. Tick each off as they meet their grisly death. Admit that you yourself are in fact the murderer. And then there were none!

4. Aliens land in Woking and you're holed up in a mansion house. Carefully creep out of the house, holding your bookmark aloft. If the alien spots you, flash your decorative bookmark at him. Aliens have never seen bookmarks before. While the alien is temporarily distracted by the beautiful paper item, make good your escape and get busy developing strains of earth-born bacteria to defeat them in a war of the worlds.

5. Fallen in love in the time of cholera? Just stay at home on your own and read a book until all this has blown over.

You’ll find your free bookmarks between pages 66 and 67 of the February issue.

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More from our February issue…

More fictional fun for you…

Celebrate | Imbolc

As winter thaws, take a moment to mark Imbolc, the moment spring starts to peek through

Imbolc is the Pagan festival that marks the sight of spring around the corner, celebrating light and fertility. It’s the start of the agricultural year, when the earth warms up, everything begins to grow and lambs and other livestock start to be born. But it’s a lovely moment in the calendar to celebrate in your own private way. If you’re still waiting patiently for winter to be over, to be able to get out in the garden again, feel the sun on your face a bit more and look forward to longer days, Imbolc marks that moment we say goodbye to the harshest days of winter and welcome the light and warmth to come. Here are a few things you might like to do:

• Light a candle - a flame is the traditional symbol of Imbolc, which is a ‘fire’ festival

• Spring clean  your home, or perhaps just make one corner of it look shiny and new. The home is central to the celebration of this festival.

• Plan your planting for the coming year and maybe sow a few early seeds. You can start off tomatoes or sweet peas indoors in February.

• February 1st is also Brigid’s day, the Celtic Goddess of, among other things, poetry. Read a poem to yourself to (or to Brigid, if the mood takes you). Try our poetic pause on p67 of the February issue. 

• Visit a river or stream and have a paddle if it’s not too cold. Alternatively, take your cleansing ritual home and have a nice long bath. 

• Eat something creamy or cheesy (like we need any excuse). The word imbolc comes from ‘ewe’s milk’ so you might like to enjoy a fondue, cream with your pudding or a simple milky drink at bedtime. If you’re not a dairy eater, you could prepare something like a curry, to celebrate the warming of the earth, with lots of fragrant spices.

• At sunset, put the lights on in every room in the house to welcome back the sun.

If you’re inspired by our Imbolc ideas you might like to read ‘Re-emerging’ on p12 of our February issue, all about that moment between winter and spring.

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More from our February issue…

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Know more about | Pancakes

A few pancake facts to impress your fellow Shrove Tuesday diners

• The most expensive pancake ever sold was created by a Manchester hotel in 2014 and included lobster, champagne and caviar and was yours for just £800.

• The world’s largest pancake also originated from Manchester. Made in 1994 it weighed a whopping three tonnes and had to be flipped and edible to qualify. At 15 metres in diameter there was definitely enough to go around.

• The French have some unique traditions when it comes to crepes. Some families throw the first crepe of the year at a wardrobe and if it sticks you have to leave it there for 12 months. A quicker update than a lick of paint, we suppose.

• The first pancake race happened in Olney, Buckinghamshire in 1445 and was for ladies only. The annual race is still going strong and will take place on 25 February this year.

• When it comes to pancake records Dominic ‘Mike’ Cuzzacrea holds two separate crowns. In 1999 he completed a marathon at Niagara Falls in 3 hours, 2 minutes, and 27 seconds while battling winds and flipping the pancake once every 1.8 seconds for the duration of the entire race. He also holds the record for highest pancake toss of 9.47 metres in 2010, beating previous record holder, celebrity chef Aldo Zilli.

• And finally, if you want to know how to flip a pancake without getting it stuck to the ceiling, the good people of Newcastle University’s STEM blog have worked it out for you: To flip a pancake a metre in the air we need a launch velocity of 4.4 metres per second. If our launch velocity is over 6 metres per second however, our pancake will get stuck to the ceiling! We also have to be fast to catch the pancake as it falls back down or we could be left with pancake on the floor! For a flip of a metre we only have 0.9 of a second to catch our pancake. We can calculate the air time (t) of our pancake using the following equation: t = 2v/g

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How to | Plant a fruit tree

Bare-root fruit trees can be planted from October to March. Here’s how to start your own orchard

Dig a hole, no deeper than the roots but at least three times the diameter of the roots system.

Prepare the soil by loosening it at the bottom of the hole and then mixing in some organic matter. Tease out the roots prior to planting and place in the hole.

Refill with soil, making sure that any gaps around the roots system are filled. Small trees won't need staking but larger ones will.

Firm the soil and water the tree in well, continuing to water regularly for the first year. 

This advice was taken from a feature by Simple Things’ gardening guru Cinead McTernan. For more inspiration on growing fruit trees (and eating from them), pick up our February issue, which has wisdom on all things orchard from Raymond Blanc, including the secret to the best apple crumble in the world…

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Playlist | Songs to put a bounce in your step

Listen at thesimplethings.co.uk/blog/bounceinyourstepplaylist.

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January | a final thought

An illustration from our back cover to make you smile.

We’re saying goodbye to our January issue today. We’ve loved learning how best to thrive in winter, use citrus in our baking, spot snowdrops, make cold comfort balms and gather for food with friends.

Our February issue is in the shops soon. In the meantime, please enjoy this illustration from the back cover of our January issue,

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Make | No More Sick Days bath soak

A soothing soak to add to your bath and banish sniffles and aches

Body aches and sinus pressure be gone – this soothing soak is designed for when you’re feeling under the weather. Epsom salt works wonders on the sore muscles associated with cold and flu symptoms. Plus, this blend of essential oils will help decongest nasal passages.

This will make a large jar: enough for three much-needed baths.

240g Epsom salt
375g bicarbonate of soda
5 drops of eucalyptus essential oil
5 drops of vanilla essential oil (or vanilla extract)
3 drops of tea tree essential oil

Combine all the ingredients in a mixing bowl and store in a glass jar with an airtight lid. It will keep at room temperature for up to six months.

This ‘recipe’ is just one of the makes in our feature The Home Apothecary in our January issue, which also has instructions on how to make body scrubs, creams, face masks and more, all from the comfort of your kitchen.

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More from our January issue…

More lotions and potions…